Posts Categorized: Shameless self-promotion

The City of Secret Rivers — Now In Paperback!

The City of Secret Rivers is now available in paperback!

At least, it’s available in the UK. In America, the book is called Hyacinth And The Secrets Beneath, and it won’t come out in paperback until April 24. Sorry, America. Guess that whole throwing-off-the-yoke-of-King-George thing doesn’t seem like such a good idea now, does it?

Think of the Children

I’ve just noticed a new feature on Amazon:

“Tag this book for Amazon search.”

It’s a way of telling Amazon, “When people search for a certain phrase, this book should come up in the results.”

So–just to pick a random example–suppose you feel that people who read Harry Potter might also enjoy reading The Government Manual for New Wizards. Yet you know that hundreds of millions of people read the former who have never heard of the latter. Night after night, you lie awake, worrying about the millions of poor lost souls who will never know the simple joy of buying one of my books.

Help Me Sell Books

Now that The Government Manual for New Pirates is shipping, I have a few requests for my friends. (And by “friends,” I mean “anybody who is willing to help me sell books.” If Mahmoud Ahmandinejad gives me a good review on, then by God, he counts as well.)

1. If you’ve read New PIrates and enjoyed it, write up a little review of it at its webpage on Amazon and/or the online retailer of your choice. This doesn’t have to be long or detailed–just a few sentences so that anybody browsing the page will know that other folks have read and enjoyed the book.

Cover story

I’m pleased to see that now has the newly designed cover in its listing for The Government Manual for New Pirates. Our publishers’ design team outdid themselves this time. Of the three books Matthew and I have written, Pirates has our favorite cover.

The inside of the book looks great, too, but for now, you’ll just have to take my word for it.

What I’ve Been Up To

So what have I been up to lately?

Well, for one thing:

Aye, landlubber, you guessed aright. No longer will wizards and superheroes be the only hard-working professionals who can refer to official Government Manuals, because The Government Manual for New Pirates will be hitting the shelves in April 2007. Covering such vital topics as rum, eyepatches, rum, wenches, rum, wenches serving rum, and rum bottles with labels featuring eyepatch-wearing wenches serving rum, The Government Manual for New Pirates is a must-have for every swashbuckling ne’er-do-well.

Citizen Kane: The Musical

I’ve uploaded two of my short films to

Why Revver, you might ask, rather than Google video or Youtube? Because Revver actually shares their revenues with content creators. Every time somebody watches my films all the way through and clicks on the ad at the end, I get a little money. My films have only been up for 24 hours, and already I’ve made 30 cents. At this rate, I’ll make enough to bankroll a feature-length film in… let’s see here… 456 years. Sundance, here I come!

Cross Promotion

A friend reports getting the following e-mail from Amazon:

We’ve noticed that customers who have purchased The Government Manual for New Superheroes by Matthew David Brozik also purchased books by Christopher Behrens. For this reason, you might like to know that Christopher Behrens’s Penis Pokey is now available . You can order your copy by following the link below.

Penis Pokey
Christopher Behrens
Price: $9.95
(June 1, 2006)