While you Americans deal with petty economic issues like high oil prices, we here in Britain have to worry about something real:

Fish-and-chip prices are about to skyrocket. They are expected to even surpassing the £5 mark at takeaway chip shops in south-east England.

Who is to blame, and what will the consequences be? It depends on who you believe. The right-wing populist Evening Standard blames those pesky environmentalists who want a fishing ban on the endangered North Sea Cod.The left-wing Guardian blames weather damage to potato crops (and perhaps, by extension, global warming.) The Telegraph–which likes to brag of its wealthy, health-conscious readership– says the mania for Omega 3 fatty acids has driven up the price of fish. Scotland’s Herald frets that competition from McDonald’s is forcing Glasgow chippies to keep their prices low in the face of rising costs, potentially driving them out of business.

If the British government had as much vision as the Americans, they’d find a pretext to invade the Republic of Ireland, and seize their strategically vital potato fields. At the very least, they’d have a National Vinegar Reserve they could tap to keep prices down in the run-up to elections.